I don’t know how or when it came to be for women to feel different from men. For some reason when it comes to relationships women get an upper hand in determining what they want and expect from men. While on other hand, men are simply expected to shrug their shoulders and go along with whatever women demand.
Men are expected to care for their ladies, love them, provide for them, make them happy, make them laugh, etc. Most girls will say, ‘I want a man who will make me happy!’. But then I may ask, ‘while the man is making you happy, what will you be doing?’ Being ‘happy‘ I guess.
Ask a girl what she expects from her man. She will say things like, ‘he should make me laugh(funny), he should have chivalry (highly gentle manners towards women), he should listen to me, he should be kind, intelligent and hard working.‘ Here comes the hilarious part; boys, men they just shrug their shoulders and say, ‘okay!’. They don’t take their turn to lay out what they want and expect from girls, women. I don’t even think they are allowed to. I guess if a man, boy expected the same things from women i.e. make me laugh, care for me, protect me, be hard working, etc. Then suddenly they wouldn’t be gentle anymore. They would immediately be stripped off their hard earned chivalry ranks.
Why is it hard to comprehend that a relationship is a 2 edged sword, either side hurts and requires special attention. What about ‘men, boys’ being human don’t ‘women, girls’ understand? All human beings share similar needs at all levels. Emotional, psychological, physiological and psychical.
Ladies, does it ever occur to you that men need you to listen to them too? That they need you to care for them too? That they need you to protect them too? Whatever you want them to do for you, they precisely want and expected you to do it for them too. The only difference is that you are able to eloquently and proudly say it out loud while they conceal it behind manhood. For the same reason their tears are always invisible.
You heard me right. Men are scared of showing basic human emotions. Somehow women have a monopoly over emotional display. Its a ‘no go’ for men. That’s why in relationships only women get to communicate their expectations. Its unbelievable that in most relationships men are always expected to grab the shovel on the giving end while ladies are expected to carry a big basket on the receiving end. Stereotypes around men in a relationship are awful!
Tell you want, next time you hear a lady lay out their long list of expectations from their man, just know right there and then that something is narrow with their understanding. They can’t just say ‘I want this and that from my man’ because that’s exactly what men want too. How about this, remove ‘I‘ in your long list of demands and expectations and add ‘us‘. You and your man. Now it’s a relationship. Before adding ‘us’ it is rather servitude.
A relationship must be mutual. Either side has to both give and receive.
Let me paint this relationship picture with brighter colors for you:
a relationship is like a boat which can only uphold a given amount of weight to stay afloat without sinking. Both the man and the woman always have equal weight. Therefore, if the man keeps giving and giving without reciprocity, his side will become weaker and weaker while the woman’s side becomes overweight hence resulting to the boat bending towards one side. If that goes on for along time, the side of the boat the woman is standing on begins to sink, eventually plunging entirely.
Ladies, you want to laugh? Guess what? Men want to laugh too. You want to be happy? Guess what? Men want to be happy too? You want to be protected? Guess what? Men want to be protected too. You want to be provided for? Guess what? Men want the same thing a well. Your needs and those of men are singular and common. Thus, if they must be achieved, both man and woman must understand and grab a shovel together on the giving end and must hold a big basket together on the receiving end.
Why haven’t I heard a lady say, ‘I wan t a man I can make happy’ ‘I want a man I can make laugh’ ‘I want a man I can protect‘? Why is your mindset not open like this? Whoever said men exist to make women happy was wrong. It has to be mutual or its nothing at all. Lest it be outright hypocrisy and manipulation.
Girls jot this down, men or boys are just human like you. They want exactly the same things as you do. Therefore instead of saying that you want, ‘a man who listens to you‘. Be pragmatic and say, ‘I want both my man and I to listen to each other, care for each other, protect each other, love each other, etc.’. This is maturity in spades.
Quit that obnoxious attitude of entitlement. You are not bosses men are meant to serve without reciprocity. Nevertheless, I’m sure there must be equal unfair stereotypes around women as well. Like men expecting women to please them, sexually. Forgetting that women need to be pleased too. It’s always mutual. Men too need to understand that women are not sexual objects. They are not sex dolls. You don’t just grab them and mount them. They are not horses. Men, do you copy? I repeat, ‘women, girls’ are not sex dolls. Men, boys, do you copy? Hallo?? Do not slap their behind when they pass by. Unwanted touching is illegal anyway.
Let us all try to make it fair and reasonable for each other. Keeping in mind that a relationship is a mutual connection of existence which must guided by all relevant principles of reality, intelligence and need.
Editorial/ Yewe Yewe
email: yeweyewecommunity@yeweyewe.com
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