I. Management Class: How much do you drink?

Management is the most important subject in the course of human history. It is the science and art through which all things are planned, organized and controlled. Nothing in life can exist outside the process of management unless it is meant to be wasted and lost. I’m not just talking about things but also about people, not just about material but also immaterial things.

Today, I’d like to bring something you might rather find trivial but nonetheless vital to your attention. I’ll start off with a question I expect you to answer.

‘how much do you drink?‘

We can begin sober if you want. So how much do you drink? I meant water. 1 little, 2? 3? 5? well the Academies of sciences, engineering and medicine determined that the best adequate daily fluid intake is: 15.5 cups for men and 11.5 cups for women. This is where management comes in. Obviously you don’t drink all 15.5 cups at once or in the same hour. You have to divide the number of cups of water you are supposed to take systematically throughout the entire day. Perhaps you may take the whole number and divide by the first 15 hours of the day; 15.5/15 =1 cup every hour. This way your daily water intake becomes useful to your body resulting to tremendous health benefits i.e. body hydration which is super important for almost every activity going on in your body like blood flow, etc.

I hope by now you have understood 3 things. #1 15.5 cups for men and 11.5 cups for women every day. #2 don’t drink it all at once. #3 not drinking it all at once is what in this class, we call management. Congratulations! you passed, with an A.

Enough of H2O (water, in chemistry) for today. Turn to a new page. You’ll find the same exact question.

‘how much do you drink?’

C’mon! You know well I ain’t asking about water. So how much beer do you drink? Wait what? Did someone say a whole damn crate?! I hope not. You’ve probably heard about people who actually drink the whole damn crate or the whole damn bottle of whisky. As if that’s not enough some take it a little bit too far and spend a whole damn day in the bar, drinking. That is what in this class we can call: BBM. I’ll explain.

BBD is a scientific academic term that was developed by great scientists millions of years ago and it stands for: BAD BEER MANAGEMENT.

I’ll agree with you, beer or alcohol for that matter has tremendous health benefits for your brain and body i.e. going high. But if you are good at management, you don’t want too go to high because that means you’d actually have your feet off the ground, floating above ground like a bird which until now according to available scientific studies is still proven impossible for human beings unless of course you are in bed, dreaming.

Let us focus on BBM (Bad Beer Management). Research developed over along period of time, shows that the best beer intake is: 710 milliliters for men and 355 milliliters for the ladies. That is about 12 fluid ounces or in beer terms ‘2 drinks for men and 1 for the ladies’. I know this must be challenging especially for our friends who believe in quotes like these:

‘today I was a hero. I recued some beer that was trapped in a bottle.’ or

‘some people spend a fortune so that they can circle the world, I drink some beer and the entire damn world circles around me.’

As is with all other things in life, beer too tips you off when your management is really bad. That’s when the next morning, you begin to have head aches, sore throat, sore eyes, dizziness and sometimes it gets gross (throwing up). In case you happen to be one of such people who drink it all until there’s no damn coin left in both your pockets and your friends’, I got breaking news for you. This class is for you. Your need to drink much more than is necessary and healthy is tied to your rigid 2 days drinking. I’ll explain.

Most people don’t drink on a Monday, don’t on Tuesday, don’t drink on Wednesday, don’t drink on a Thursday but instead start drinking on a Friday night till Saturday night. Just 2 days! That is BBM right there. You should rather drink a little bit all the time than drink too much in 2 days. Take my advise, from now onwards, stick to drinking 710 milliliters for men and 355 for the ladies equivalent to 2 bottles of beer for men and 1 for the ladies every day not 2 days.

Program Coordinator ($27,600 – 33,600 /annually)

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