A beautiful girl takes a bus to down town– arrives, walks up stairs into a bar. In her mind she is meeting Yemi along time friend since high school. lo and behold, roses! red roses! every where; in the path way, on the tables, on chairs, its all red. Then comes the familiar faces, all her friends and her boyfriend’s friends are there. They’re wearing to impress.
Immediately as she enters they clear the path way, making two lines; some on the left, others on the right. In between, a cool red carpet. She steps forward, slowly, takes another step and another until finally she arrives at what looks like a circle of red. Amidst it, an empty chair and it’s covered in red. She looks up, and there he is, the one and only, her Romeo, well her boyfriend. And he is smiling big time.
Slowly he reaches for his girl friend’s hand, leads her to the empty chair. The girl gently sits and the boyfriend steps back. Gently, Nollywood style. He goes down on his knee. One knee. Reaches in his pocket, pulls out a box, black. Gently opens it with the other hand and there it is, a ring. The girl is surprised, presumably. Rolls her eyes like a princess, puts her hand on her mouth in amazement like a little girl while the other hand wipes off a tear from one eye.
Meanwhile their friends who have made a circle around them, are screaming out loud and cheering, while in the background a John Legend song is playing ‘give me all of me, I give you ma all to you, you’re ma end and beginnin, even when I lose I’m winning, I give you all all of mee.. you give me all all of youuu‘. The boyfriend still on one knee, holding his girlfriend’s right hand with his left hand, looks up into the girl’s eyes, says a couple of romantic lines then asks the big question, ‘will you marry me?’.
Now, I’m going pause it right there. What just happened?
Before I draw any conclusions, please let me take you through some psychology notes: a persona’s behavior; attitudes and manners are highly subjective to the manners and attitudes of the people around that person and the environment there in. If the people around you are cheering and screaming, you can’t do otherwise. If they’re sad and sobbing, you can’t do otherwise. Meaning that the answer a girl gives to ‘will you marry me?‘ surprise proposal which takes place in the public is most certainly going to flow with the vibe of the people around. That’s why, in all the marriage proposals you’ve attended or those you saw in videos or those you heard about, the answer is always ‘Yes‘.
It has nothing to do with love, nothing to do with decision making, nothing to do with choice, nothing at all. From the moment a girl is taken by surprise, to when invited friends start screaming and cheering, to when her boyfriend holds her hand and reaches for the ring, the girl’s psychology is not the same as it could have been a month before. Let me clarify this further.. did you know that, immediately after you step in the public everything about you changes; your walk changes, your talk changes, your breathing changes, your blood flow changes, your heart beat changes, your blinking changes, why? Because you are in the presence of others and people affect each other on that level. (science). Therefore, when a girl says yes to a public marriage proposal, believe me you it is a public yes. Her reaction could have been different if the proposal was private.
If a man can be with his girlfriend in a private place and ask the same exact question, ‘will you marry me?’ Believe me you, most girls would say, ‘I’ll think about it.’ How about this? When a boy first meets a girl and asks her to be his girlfriend, the first time and most of the time, the reply is ‘I’ll think about it‘. Which could take weeks or months. Robert Kiyosaki wanted to ask a girl he liked out on a date. The girl repeatedly declined. When she finally agreed to go out with him, Robert asked her to be his girlfriend and guess what the answer was, ‘I’ll think about it‘. It took her almost 7 months to say ‘YES‘ to a marriage proposal because it happened in private.
Now, pause it again right there. I need somebody to tell me, why do girls need to think about it at the beginning of the relationship but then don’t at the most important time of deciding to get into marriage? May be boys have found away around ‘I’ll think about it‘. Clever! Right? I think boys steal away a girl’s right to actually think before deciding and may be that’s why the marriage proposal is always in the public and a surprise. Girls, it’s a goddamn trick! Unless the surprise is for your birthday, then let no body surprise you with a lifetime decision. Keep your phrase, ‘I’ll think about it‘.
Editorial/ Yewe Yewe