III. Dr. Hey You: How can I Express Love?

Hello! It’s me again. Dr. Hey You, your online free therapist. I’ve received hundreds of calls and messages from my clients, each one of them asking me to reveal how they can best express love? You probably have the exact same question. If you do, I got your back. Just lay back and relax as I break it down for you.

Do You Understand what Love is?

Before expressing love, know what it is. So what is love? Love is a positive emotion that triggers warmth in the heart and excitement in the mind. This emotion is so powerful that it turns on all good virtues within a person. Hence, wheresoever good people are, love exists. Wheresoever love is, good people exist.

Love is like water, it exists in so many places, at different times, and is useful for so many things.

Water is not contained in the oceans or seas of the world. It is neither limited to summer seasons nor is it used just for drinking. The same is true with love.

Love is not only meant for hugging and kissing-couples, for brave heroes risking their life, for patriots standing up for their nations, for victims standing up for their rights, but also for little things as simple as a good morning to a stranger on the side walk.

I hope you’ve gained a universal understanding of what love is all about. I say universal because it’s a fact. Love, just like water maintains it’s properties all the time, everywhere. Therefore, what you need to do to express love does not change according to time, friends or foe, happy or sad times, benefit or loss.

How can you Express Love?

#1 Feel Love First

You can not genuinely express what you don’t feel. Feeling is the first stage of expression. Then comes thought or thinking about it, then comes word or talking about it, and finally comes act or doing something out of love, for love, and with love.

Expressing love is a process of transferring a love emotion from you to someone else or to something else. Meaning that you must possess love in your heart and mind before you can manifest it to another person or thing.

If you ever meet a cold hearted person incapable of showing love or of behaving out of love just know that they don’t have it in them yet. Try to be nice to them, such people live in a quiet hell. They deserve pity and mercy.

Expressing love is like switching on lights in your house, people come in and enjoy it. But when you switch the lights off, other people keep falling in your house but so will you. Thus, if your love is not turned on, you are like a person who switched their house lights off to keep away people. As a qualified psychologist, I highly recommend that you see a therapist, effective immediately. You are a danger to yourself and to others.

#2 Love Gives a lot

I’m certain this is what you wanted me to talk about, the giving part. Well, I hope you are giving, a lot. This is the act phase of expressing love. Sharing what you have that others need without forcing them to comply with your ridiculous conditions.

Things shared out of love for love are guided by the following principles;

Importance. give someone something you know they need or want.
Urgency. give someone something you know they long to have or can’t wait to have.
Quality. give someone something that is of higher quality. Don’t just dump rags on them and call it a gift.
Quantity. if what you are giving is important or urgent or of a higher quality, without going beyond your means try to make it as much as the other person needs.

As you sail out to express love, remember that giving someone a bad gift is not an indication of love. Rather, it is a sign of arrogance, provocation, negativity, humiliation, hatred, and rivalry.

Learn from ancient kings, their gifts were always wonderful, big, valuable and beautiful. They gave each other gifts such as; rare horses, thousands of gold coins, miles of acres of land, monuments, princesses, oath of loyalty, etc.

Niccolo Machiavelli, a retired politician from Florence-Italy(15th century), wrote a political treatise for King Lorenzo De Medici(Italy) as a gift. The book went on to become the most popular political book in the history of politics. ‘The Prince‘.

If you are not giving this much, with such passion and dedication, you might as well spare yourself the embarrassment. Keep your rags.

#3 Love takes no lunch breaks or holidays

In the book 11 Rules Against Defeat (2020), the author, Gicaniro I says,

‘if you are good on Sunday but not on other days then you are not good at all, if you are wise among colleagues and dull among strangers then you are not wise at all, if you are beautiful at sun rise but not at sun set then you are not beautiful at all — be like the sun, even when it’s freezing cold or raining cats and dogs, it still remains a source of light’.

In other words, he wanted to emphasis the importance of consistence. Do the same. When giving, be like the sun. Never stop.

#4 Say it

Words are the most vivid form of communication anyone is able to understand. If you love someone, can you say it easily? If not then you don’t love them as much as you claim.

I know that some people are skilled liars. Nonetheless, the words you say bind you to their meaning. It’s a law of nature. Eventually the words you say catch up with you.

Not being able to express love in words, also means that you barely think about it. Also, it means that, you can barely express it in action. First comes feeling, thought, word, and then action.

#5 Love is a two way ticket

If you ever get lost, exhausted, and disgusted in your attempt to love — it means that your love is not reciprocated promptly with equal passion. This type of situation is oppressing, sabotaging, and humiliating. Avoid it.

Reciprocate love as much as you can. Also, make sure that others reciprocate your love. Otherwise, they are foes not friends. Be not naïve.

LOVE !

Editorial/ Yewe Yewe

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